The world is in ruins
and yet today,
for one blissful day,
I felt good.
The stresses of my yesterday
conquered
and those of today,
accomplished.
I am not always entirely present —
dissociated from the pain
and trying to block out its internal sting —
and yet I am far, far
from the woman I once was.
I am still growing,
leaf by leaf,
my mind opening
to a new beginning.
I am no longer pulled so swiftly into oblivion
in fact, I have found new
pathways out
hidden staircases unpreviously discovered,
conveniently lighted
for me to see.
I have begun to walk,
not crawl,
back towards normalcy.
I wish I could reach back in time and say,
“Here’s a torch,
it’ll light the way.”
And yet I know I’m here for a reason —
God and I both know what that is —
to discover and get lost
inside the endless cave
of myself.
