The Rhythms of Womanhood

I’d never thought about it before — could these abrupt changes in mood be related to my monthly cycle?

Photo by Atikh Bana on Unsplash

Habit Tracking Reveals All

I woke up the morning of the 22nd feeling completely and utterly defeated. I know it’s going to be a bad day when I wake up feeling anxious and nervous.

When a down swing like this hits me, it’s like a dump truck. I’m smacked across the face by equal parts apathy and anxiety, and it’s hard for me to shift that weight and carry on.

I always wondered why this happened to me. Why my mood swings are so insane. I thought perhaps it had something to do with my hormones, but I didn’t realize until recently that it’s connected to my menstrual cycle.

In May, I began tracking my habits on paper. I hoped I’d see some improvement with three months of trying, but the only thing I’ve noticed is this:

Around the 16th to about the 24th of each month, I hit a wall.

I don’t get anything done. All of the neat little rows of X’s are interrupted by this blank white space.

In June, I didn’t write for almost two weeks following this wall.