It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Post-pandemic wisdom for the sorrowful soul.

This is me, trying to be okay and kinda failing.

I cannot help but think of the Before. Before the pandemic, before the world decided to show its ugly teeth to every man, woman, and child alive, before economies melted down and people’s lives and livelihoods were stolen from them while corporations danced with glee— before all of this, I had so much hope. So much naivety. It glittered like crystal in the sunlight, pushing me on to “follow my dreams” and “go after my heart”.

The After has aged me. I am no longer the bright, idealistic girl I was a little over a year ago, and even by then much of my ignorance had been shorn away by life experience. I am no child, but the After has made me grow up in ways that I never thought I would. It has turned my worldview from “seeking pleasure in all places” to “everyone in this world sucks, me along with it”.

That’s the funny thing about becoming cynical. You can fight it all you want, but fighting just makes you more and more resigned to the ways of the world. There is a reason young people believe so fervently in their missions and agendas, sure that society just needs a helping hand to improve — they haven’t been beaten down enough by reality yet. But as you grow older and more jaded, you realize that’s a lie. The way of the world is ingrained — hell, even a global pandemic could not…